Help Wanted: Unique position available for success-minded single man to help never-wed singles columnist experience the practical side of marriage for two weeks over the summer.
Responsibilities include: Rescuing me from the perils of intrusive dinner party conversation, car concerns, household handiwork and hurricane preparations. Applicants should be proficient at displaying enthusiasm and rapt attention while listening to a vivid, detailed account of my entire day.
The ideal candidate: He possesses the ability to express (in a gentle, flattering, non-verbal way) that the outfit I'm eyeing is better suited for one of Lil' Kim's back-up dancers.
What's in it for him? For better or worse, until the end of our employment contract do us part, you could consider this espousal exercise groom-ing for the real thing, a refresher course, or just a great summer job opportunity!
Angela's never been married and claims "22 years" in the dating trenches. And yet she looks like a daytime TV talk show host. Maybe she's living in the wrong city? I dunno. Anyone who wants to try on husband shoes for a few weeks? And any suggestions for stunts I should pitch to the Jewish Week for my column?