Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
If it is true that I really do not know whether I believe that what I did today will have any effect on my finding a beschert, it is also true that I walked away with the feeling that, if anyone might have a shot of pulling such a miracle out of the pocket of heaven, Reb Chaim would.
Faith can be so elusive. It's nice to know that there are people reaching out and trying to make a difference in the lives of often-communally-neglected observant singles population.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Meeting people on the Internet was nothing new to [LA resident Jessica] Walters, who had spent her high-school years talking to people all over the world in chat rooms. "I remember feeling like people were pretty straightforward about themselves when we'd chat," she said. "They didn't seem to be pretending they were something they weren't."
So when the first guy who contacted her through JDate revealed on his profile that he was only 5-foot-3, Walters assumed he was telling the truth.
I think we all know where the story goes from here. And it involves the words "Oompa Loompa." (Not my joke; Walters's.)
Friday, June 24, 2005
When I was in college, Chabad made a huge push for Jewish women to light Shabbat candles every Friday night. If, for one solitary Sabbath, every Jewish woman in the world lit a pair of candles, the campus rabbi maintained, the unity and peace of that one worldwide act would bring the Messiah. Unfortunately, as long as I live in my flammable little studio, I’m going to have to live with the fact that the continued imperfection of our pre-Messianic world may be my fault.In case you haven't seen it on My Urban Kvetch or in your own personal copy of The Jewish Week, here's the link to my new column, Friday Night Lights.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
I vowed to myself that I wouldn't write about the people in my life, because it wasn't fair to present a story that was half theirs, but strip them of their voices. Besides, just because the chemistry wasn't right with me didn't mean that person wouldn't make a great boyfriend/husband/companion for someone else. The one time I wrote about a specific person in a blog post happened on My Urban Kvetch, and it was after a decade. And I had learned that he had just been married. And, just to be sure he was unrecognizable, I changed his name. I was extremely careful about such things. As weeks and months wore on, with my commitment to being a neutral zone open to all and that wasn't about me, content was less of the "speak and be heard" variety and more of a way for singles-columnist me to track trends and patterns in online and offline dating, with the occasional foray into "I can't believe he (or she) did this (or that)." But over the last several weeks, the content has changed*, and not in a manner that's totally comfortable for me. And these are posts that I may yet live to regret, because they, in some small way, violate that promise I made to myself when I started blogging. I'm still not naming names or specifics. I'm writing about the emotional fallout from such encounters or expectations thwarted, often in so abstract a manner that it can confuse people who don't know me. I write as myself, under my own name, of my own experiences. I'm trying to reinforce my emotional fortitude by being more open about how I feel, writing my way through perceived and actual betrayals of whatever magnitude, and letting that come through in my writing. And at the same time, I'm trying to maintain the reputations of the people who, often through no real fault of their own, made me feel this way. Because the inquisition is all internal, it's easy for me to write about what I'm feeling, and extremely difficult to push that "Publish" button. I've learned that with a few exceptions, people protect their own interests, and that's a lesson I could stand to internalize, in moderation, at least. I find myself wondering if this kind of writing does me a disservice, even if I don't name names. Perhaps it would be better to slay my demons privately instead of expelling my disappointments into the blogosphere to land in the ears of the similarly disappointed. Perhaps I should refocus the blog on observing the trends and contributing snarky commentary that keeps everyone laughing, and feeling like they've found a community. But then again, the emotional posts seem to have found their own audience, and a network of support has reached back from an Internet void to embrace me and provide me with desperately-needed comfort. I'll have to give this some serious thought. Your feedback, as always, is welcome. *The posts that inspired this one: The Single Gal's Survival Guide...Up Late...Emotional Jetlag
There are thousands of us out here, in the online netherworld, shopping for love and companionship over the Internet...We have experienced the joy of an email from someone we thought we found interesting, only to be disappointed in real life. We have encountered people who lied about their height and interests. We have chatted with people online who seem witty with the 10-20 second IM delay, and moved the relationship to the phone, only to find that their conversational skills are clearly lacking. We have wondered how to handle the delicate situations we encounter, and have sought advice from friends. Now, there's one more friend to consult... The goal of this blog is to record our experiences, good and bad, of men and women, serial JDaters and novices, from NYC to L.A. and everywhere in between. When the muse inspires, there will be features, rants and raves on related subjects. But this is your blog, your forum. Speak.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Thursday, June 16, 2005
While the school saw the directive as a way to stave off interfaith dating, Bertrand [a student whose father was Catholic when her parents married] and other students at the Hartsdale school said it encouraged creating a “self-imposed ghetto” that could generate resentment and even stoke the flames of anti-Semitism. “It was intended to promote Jewish continuity, but instead it insults non-Jews, it insults Solomon Schechter students, and it doesn’t reflect well on the school,” Bertrand said of the Jewish-only prom policy, which remains in place today. Worse, she said, the decree might inadvertently prove racist. “Most people can pass as Jewish,” said Bertrand, now 18, noting that school officials would be hard pressed to determine at the door who was Jewish. “If the school was going to investigate students they suspected brought non-Jewish dates, the only red flag would be if someone was another race.”And I was worried about bringing someone Conservative to my underground yeshiva prom...
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Well, that's it. Gigi's only doing Jews from now on. She doesn't care who they are - no one goes down on her unless they go to Temple! With Roxy's help, she takes matters into her own hands and enrolls in a Jewish internet dating site.All of JDA's Canadian readers are invited to send their reviews of this series to me. Plus, is the old "When Harry Met Sally" adage true? Is it impossible for men and women to be friends without "the sex thing getting in the way"? Dr. Janice revisits the issue of friendships between men and women. Read the bulletin board postings and post your reactions here. And if you enjoy watching brides humiliating themselves for cash (and what red-blooded American singleton doesn't?), then you missed a bridal bonanza yesterday, as Bridezilla sponsored a contest in Times Square for brides to find a $50,000 check in a wedding cake. (How many Points is that?) Ah, dignity. No word if “cake-diving” is going to become a national pastime. This only would have been better if, during the cake-scavation, all of the brides’ bridesmaids had been on hand to beat the brides over the head with their own bouquets. (Not that I’m encouraging anti-bride violence.) Now that’s entertainment.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Please email her with any questions, and tell her you found out about it from Esther, from JDatersAnonymous...
I need quotes from women in their TWENTIES about their personal experiences with a guy who did something so unbelievable that they just can't believe they wanted to see him again and give him another chance. Like... insulted her, called her fat, vomited on her, tripped her, accidentally set her hair on fire... :) you get the picture. Here are some good examples:
"I thought RD’s accent sounded just like Forest Gump when I first met him at a work event, and he was everything I swore I would never date--he was a hunter, drove a pickup truck, and liked chicken-fried steak. Still, I thought he was cute and a few days later we were emailing and talking on the phone. Because I didn't write him off, I found out that he was witty and smart. And even though my gastronomical parents are horrified, six years later, I actually like chicken-fried steak.” - Marcy John, 26, Dallas, Texas "I met this guy on vacation in Cabo San Lucas. He was acting like a total frat boy--talking really loud and telling jokes that weren't funny. Then he bought me a beer and spilled it on me! After the trip, we reconnected again back home in San Francisco over email (he was on an email list of people I met on the trip), and a few days later I reluctantly invited him to dinner with some friends. Everyone thought he was so great and said I was crazy if I didn’t go on a date with him. It turned out, though, that away from the beer and the bar, he was charming and down to earth. Forget Mexico, he turned out to be the great treasure of San Francisco." -Michelle Marlin 29, San Francisco, California If you have a great anecdote about a jerk you lusted after again and again--please email me the following information by Wednesday, June 8 2005, 9 a.m. 1. first and last name 2. age 3. city, state 4. email 5. number 6. your quote.