Thursday, December 29, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
The rest of my new Jewish Week singles column is available here.
“Unaffiliated.” “Secular.” “Synagogue=Never.” With many JDate members describing themselves with this level of observance, daters who wanted to create a Jewish future with their bashert were for a long time simply out of online dating luck. So when Frumster barreled its way onto the scene four years ago, it aimed to fill in the observance gap for frustrated online daters and create a pool of religious singles — essentially, putting the “Jewish” back in Jewish online dating.
[...] this month, Frumster announced a milestone: In four years, 500 members had met and married; by the Dec. 15 gala event celebrating the 250 couples, the number of matched members had grown to 520. Over 55 percent of those relationships had been initiated by women (or were so remembered in the “exit interviews” that Frumster conducts when members match). Sixty percent of the matches were between people older than 31. In addition to these encouraging statistics, the milestone has spurred a media push: while continuing to serve its Orthodox population, Frumster is responding to the call of the non-frum, extending memberships to all “marriage-minded” Jewish singles, and tweaking the membership process accordingly.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Mars & Venus: Men and women try to understand each other You Don't Look Like Your Picture: Everything online dating (no real profile names or numbers, please...) Separate Seating: The religious life of the single Jew Apocrypha: Everything else outside the canon
DEADLINE for the premiere, January 2 issue is December 30.
Have more questions? The M&VGTS FAQ Sheet has your answers...
The M&VGTS FAQ
Q: What's a Carnival?
A: Are you serious? You're a blogger and you don't know what a Carnival is? Basically it's a recap/rundown of posts from different blogs on a certain subject or theme. Need more? Go here and read this.
Q: Esther, why start a Carnival now?
A: Life's a Carnival already. And being single sometimes seems like a Ferris Wheel, with highs and lows, but ultimately no progress. Having stumbled on the metaphor, I viewed it as a sign. Plus, with a new year coming and with My Urban Kvetch getting lots of play, I thought JDaters Anonymous hosting a Carnival would be the perfect way to start 2006.
Q: I'm not religious. I once pureed a Big Mac with a glass of milk and dipped my shrimp in it. I go to shul on High Holidays or not at all. Actually, I'm not even sure what shul is....Can I submit?
A: Absolutely. If you're Jewish, and your Jewish life in any way impacts the way you live single or date, you're welcome to submit a post to this Carnival. Of course, we will have to circumcise you. (Even if you're a woman. We have our ways. Mostly through metaphor.)
Q: I'm not single, but I have ideas and thoughts to share on the nature of single life, dating, and the impact of religion thereon. Can I submit?
A: Thereon? Are you from another century? Who talks like that? But seriously...since when have I ever denied a fellow Jew a platform? Submit your post for review and if it's entirely inappropriate, you'll hear from me.
Q: Do you really need four categories?
A: Come on: four cups of wine is more fun than one cup of wine, so four categories is--heck, you do the math. Because we all know I'm not going to.
Q: Did you know that the word Islam means "submission", so when you're calling for submissions, you're really calling for "Islams"?
A: Um, no. In fact, maybe anyone calling for "Islams" is actually calling for "submissions to a blogcarnival," didja ever think of that?
Q: Hey wait a minute...if this is the first time you're announcing this Carnival, how can there already be a list of Frequently Asked Questions?
A: Very good, you're very clever. Now go back to your own blog, select a post and submit it to me via email at esther.kustanowitz at gmail or via the handy dandy submission form at the BlogCarnival site...deadline is December 30, so we can ring in the new year with a brand new Carnival...
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Are you ready for the dating experience of a lifetime??? ABC News is casting for the next season of " HOOKING UP," last summer's hit documentary series about online romance, dating, sex and relationships set in and around New York City. We are looking for outgoing and articulate women and men, straight or gay, ages 20-40, living in or near (and primarily dating in) Manhattan, who are currently internet dating… or extremely eager to try it. Let our cameras follow your online dating adventures!!! For an application or more information, please email email@example.com as soon as possible, like now! (We've got seriously tight deadlines… and you've got some serious dating to do.)Have fun, and maybe I'll see YOU on television...
[...] It’s not that platonic, opposite-sex relationships don’t exist. But they’re complicated. Some “Forever Friends” stick around, hoping patiently that their platonic pal will someday see the romantic light, but this may turn out to be a painful mistake. “It’s like dating a man who is already taken, hoping he’ll leave her for you — it’s not the healthiest of beginnings,” says Julia, 28. Others find comfort in the rewards of solidly platonic friendships. “Once you grow closer to someone as a friend, the love you have grows more into a sibling type of love,” says Rachel, 24, “Soon you become so attached as friends that the attraction is almost completely forgotten. You end up knowing them so well it’s impossible to ‘like’ them any longer.” Sometimes that works. But when yearning deepens, friendship becomes impossibly painful. Unless other romances intervene or the love-stricken party accepts the impossibility of progress, feelings can continue, leading to soulful declarations met by disappointing reaffirmations with parenthetical, unvocalized caveat counterparts: “I think you’re great (but not great enough for me),” “You’re going to make someone (else) very happy,” “I don’t deserve you (I deserve someone better),” and “You know we’re better as friends (so I don’t have to tell you that I don’t think you’re all that attractive).”Read more online, here.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Ooops! Ouch! What was that? [Esther looks at her feet.] Sorry folks, just stumbled over another Jewish person. Back to the story.
Amanda Glincher, 22, says that even among other Jews, she has often stood out as very Jewish. Growing up she attended South Peninsula Hebrew Day School and the Orthodox synagogue Am Echad. Her family kept kosher, and often attended shul. “All the guys I dated on this coast were Reform,” said Amanda. “They would eat cheeseburgers…. in their home... on their own dishes!” Jacob Orrin, 22, grew up on the East Coast and attended college at Rutgers University, finishing his degree at San Jose State. “On the East Coast, you’re stumbling over Jewish people,” Jacob said. “Here, there’s really few opportunities to meet people.” Especially, observant Jewish girls!
Both Jake and Amanda were busy dating one after another Reform, incompatible Jewish singles. Jake had gone to a few cocktail parties hosted by the Silicon Valley Young Adult Division of the Jewish Federation of Silicon Valley but hadn’t met anyone yet.
What? A few whole cocktail parties? And still no one?? The horror! But fear not. Liquid courage is on its way.
Although she had been invited by friends to other events, Amanda had been avoiding SVYAD events on purpose for several months, “I didn’t want to hang out with all the young and desperate singles,” she joked. But one evening, Amanda agreed to accompany a friend on SVYAD’s “Booze Bus” up to the Latke Ball in San Francisco. It just so happened that Jake would also be on the bus that evening.
That brazen little hussy...calling a boy. When I was a girl, we didn't call boys, or talk to boys, or sit in a parked car with a boy...
“I walked to the back of the bus where the alcohol was and I said to Jake, ‘you’re too tall to be Jewish,’ and he said, ‘you’re too blond to be Jewish,’” recalls Amanda. The next day Jake called Amanda for a date. But the first night out together was far from love at first sight. “I decided he was creepy and we didn’t like each other,” Amanda said. But several months later, one of the special needs children that Amanda works with through the Chabad sponsored program Friendship Circle, told her about his amazing Hebrew teacher. Turns out, the little boy was talking about Jake. Right around this time Amanda’s parents were planning her little brother’s bar mitzvah and were looking for a kosher caterer. Amanda remembered that Jake was working in catering and she used the opportunity to call him.
Three weeks later the couple was already talking marriage. Their wedding is in September. Why so quick?
“I’ve been on a thousand dates,” said Jake, “and when you know it’s right, it’s right.”
He's been on a thousand dates. Yeah, Jake. Me too. No, y'know what? I've been on, like, a jillion dates. So there. (OK, so maybe it's closer to twenty. But if Jake can exaggerate, so can I.)
Seriously, hope these crazy kids can make it work; built on a foundation of boozing and bussing and with the involvement of Chabad and Federation? Two Jewish organizations? Uh-huh...should be great!
I just heard from a Jewish dentist who is either .....(after seeing my photo)...either hot to trot, smitten, married or all of the above. He gave me his cell phone # and wants me to call him ASAP. Another joker was smitten on the phone then disappeared for a week....never called back, but kept IMing me and finally asked me out for a drink. When I said I dont' drink and would prefer to meet for a casual lunch....he got huffy in a hurry then IMed me again and said he'd buy me a soda (since I don't drink). Another beauty bought me a lovely dinner then said he'd call......he didn't. He then IMed me several weeks later and asked me how I felt about safe fantasies and bondage!And yes, I also referred her to JDatesGoneWrong...