How You Got Here

I'm shameless, stealing the name of this post from Superjux. But hopefully, she'll still let me sleep on her floor when I'm in California next month. People who shouldn’t be on jdate What a great idea. There should totally be a list. Maybe people who post pictures of other people in their profile (for instance, Smith from Sex and the City…I mean, duh…I know that’s not you), or someone who asks a woman’s cup size during the first IM conversation, or anyone who is “just as comfortable in a cocktail dress as I am in jeans relaxing around the house.” Anyone else you’d nominate (no names, please; just “types”) for inclusion on such a list? Frum dating stories “We met in a hotel lobby. All around us, bustling bellboys bore bags. I sipped my diet Coke with lemon, raptly listening to his account of the Siyum HaShas. And as I saw myself reflected in his glasses, I felt Hashem reveal my destiny: I was going to make Shabbes for him.” Wingwoman Always helps to have one. Unless you’re a woman, and your wingwoman is more attractive than you. Then you’re screwed. (See also, “Esther’s College Years.”) Shomer kashrut Because as all J.A. readers know, kashrut news can best be gleaned from blogs about dating. Friend zone test Which of these sentences describes you? A) You like someone. He makes you feel every way you’re supposed to feel, from the way he looks at you, to the laughs you have together. You feel the connection physically, even when he’s not touching you. But he is always dating someone else, and doesn’t seem to look at you “that way.” B) People describe you as “an awesome person,” “a good guy,” or “a cool gal.” To calculate your results, review your answers. If you picked A, you are in the Friend Zone. If you picked B, you are also in the Friend Zone. Recommended course of action: Quit the gym and eat what you want. (Might I suggest pizza, cheese fries and a regular Coke followed by a pint of Ben and Jerry's new Chocolate Therapy ice cream?) Dutch men’s fear of commitment I had no idea that Dutch men feared commitment. But it makes sense, what with the wooden shoes and all. Jdate IM free Believe me, sweetie, even when it’s free, it’s never free. You know what I mean. Married men Jdate Luckily, they’ve not found me yet. Maybe if I’m still single in ten years, I’ll be more openminded, but for now, I’m gonna have to tell the espoused to hit the internet pavement. Drunk people opening feelings One thing's certain. When drunk people open feelings, they should definitely “point away from face.”