Friday, March 04, 2005
If you're dating online or off-, or know people who are engaged (natch) in the pursuit of the healthy, long-term relationship, you're probably like me. You've got complaints. And theories. And ideas. And frustrations. And successes. (Well, maybe fewer successes, but they’re out there.) One of the reasons I founded this blog was to provide a forum for all those opinions and experiences. The way it's worked out, a majority of the time, I feel like it’s just me pontificating. So here are a few other voices to balance this community into the approximation of a democracy. Annabel Lee, coming to you (LIVE!) from her kingdom by the sea, is wondering why she’s on JDate, given the roundup of inappropriately-aged and -intellected men who are contacting her. On Jewschool, “Ari Frumsky” writes about having attended the Orthodox Caucus about (what else?) the shidduch crisis. He notes two standouts, Alon Krausz of Jewishtypes.org (which matches people by personality type) and Isaac Galena, of bangitout.com. Krausz’s site sounds like a good idea, and I’ve written about it here before, right after I signed up months ago. Since I haven’t been matched yet, I’m going to assume that I’m just generally unmatchable (a suspicion that’s slowly being confirmed by my experience with Saw You at Sinai, but that’s another post for another time). But back to Galena, who noted that “young Jews on the Upper West Side aren't looking to be married as much as they are looking to be happy.” Honestly, I don’t always like Bangitout. But I’m in this case, I’m gonna have to go with an “Amen, my brother.” Happiness first, then marriage. Even Tevye's daughters knew that. Randomly, a friend of mine had something to say today about the personality typing as matching criteria, which I wanted to share with you: “Like all the other dating solutions out there, I think this is much of a gamble as anything else. Sometimes people with personality types that seem destined for eternal conflict wind up with happy marriages, while those with the "right" type for each other just don't click. Further proof that there is no magical solution to the inexact science of dating and match-making." What do you think?? Can a business model or science model be applied to dating? Is it all luck, or does “strategery” enter into it at all? Is there a set of rules that can be followed, or is every situation different? Do opposites attract, or is it important for people to be the same or similar in order to make a relationship work? Lots of questions. Feel free to discuss these, or add some of your own.