tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68584042024-03-23T14:02:28.430-04:00JDaters Anonymous has moved to JDatersAnonymous.comJDatersAnonymous has moved to JDatersAnonymous.com. Visit us there, or try my other blog: <a href="http://estherkustanowitz.typepad.com">My Urban Kvetch</a>.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.comBlogger347125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1161321044669149172006-10-20T01:09:00.000-04:002006-10-20T01:10:44.750-04:00Hey You! Change Your Links!And come on over...many exciting topics await your input, wisdom, humor and insight...
<a href="http://jdatersanonymous.com">JDatersAnonymous.com</a>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1160607871505824912006-10-11T18:59:00.000-04:002006-10-11T19:04:31.553-04:00Moving DayBlogger is so five minutes ago. What's new and now? Wordpress, or at least that's what my web team tells me. Don't get me wrong, Blogger's ok for beginners. But it's time to take this whole thing to the next level.
So, effective today, I'm switching over--having purchased a huge can of "Blogspot remover," I'm heading over to jdatersanonymous.com. Easier to remember, and hopefully a cleaner look that will enable me to do many new and exciting blogthings. After this post, all future JDaters Anonymous posts will be <a href="http://jdatersanonymous.com">on the new site</a>.
Please join me over there, and don't forget to update your links. Want to get me a homepagewarming present? Comments always help to decorate a new place.
:)
Catch y'all on the flip side...Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1160455538149589252006-10-10T00:30:00.000-04:002006-10-10T00:45:38.226-04:00National Singles Week RecapAs you all may know, September held a week dedicated to us, all the singles out there... was it as fun for you as it was for me? I believe I met a few deadlines, earned a few theoretical checks that haven't arrived yet, attended a wedding where I was the only single person there, and looked in the mirror every morning, saying "Hey you. You're single. But it doesn't matter. Because you're good enough, smart enough, and goshdarnit, people like you."
How did you celebrate?
I also started a top five list of the best things about National Singles Week, and only came up with three.
1. No one knows about it, so no one will know if you don't have a date for it.
2. No cards or flowers necessary--all you need to celebrate is your own overwhelming sense of solitude! Just curl up in your bed alone and cry...hey, you've just celebrated National Singles Week!
3. It's the only weeklong holiday that doesn't require you to change your routine at all--just continue to register for online dating sites that you have no intention of paying to become a member of, sit around the house with your two favorite men (Ben & Jerry), and watch TiVoed episodes of Grey's Anatomy.
Anyone else?Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1159726386975110862006-10-01T14:12:00.000-04:002006-10-01T14:13:07.053-04:00"Recommitment Ceremony" (JW-First Person Singular)Wishing all my readers a shanah tovah u'metukah--may this year be one of health, creativity, peace and happiness for us all. <p><em><strong>Recommitment Ceremony </strong>(Jewish Week–First Person Singular)
by Esther D. Kustanowitz
(09/29/2006)</em></p> <p><i>To err is human, clearly. And during the High Holy Day season, even those of us who acknowledge our errant ways and engage in the process of repentance with a pure heart still possess the fatal flaw of our humanity. As soon as the hunger pangs from the Yom Kippur fast wane, we’re back on stage in our tragicomedy of errors, slinging gossip over bagels and lox, and likely violating any Rosh HaShanah resolutions before sunrise on the 11th of Tishrei. Another year goes by, and we’re back in our synagogues, proclaiming our guilt all over again in an endless annual loop—it’s like an episode of “The Twilight Zone.”</i></p> <p><i>What’s the point in persisting in this annual dance of repentance?</i></p> <p><i>In the literal realm of human marital relationships, some couples, after five, 10, 20 years or so, decide to proclaim to the world that the person they’ve found is the person they still want to spend their lives with. They hold “second weddings” or “vow renewals” or “recommitment ceremonies,” inviting friends to witness the re-consecration of their partnership. But often, such ceremonies are prompted by the discovery of a breach in confidence or respect or another violation of the rules of sanctified relationships. Or perhaps the pair has survived a trauma and feels the need to reaffirm—not just for the sake of celebrating love in the public eye, but to put their own souls at ease—that despite all that has happened, their mate is still the One.</i></p> <p><i>So the two stand there, opposite each other, looking into the eyes of their beloved and looking for a trust and commitment that they may not find. A partner may admit that he or she has made mistakes, and may swear before you and a group of people that from here on in, it’s all faith and devotion. But there’s a part of you that’s unsure: can people really change?</i></p> <p><i>The relationship between God and the Jewish people is often cushioned in the metaphorical language of marital commitment. In Genesis, God made a covenant — sealed in flesh in the form of a brit milah (circumcision), which promised the Land of Israel to Abraham and his children. The terms of the agreement — God gives the land of Israel to the people, and the people will worship God — are reiterated at Mount Sinai. The term that God uses to refer to the people is segulah, which indicates a special, sanctified relationship like marriage.</i></p> <p><i>And a midrash on the Mount Sinai narrative interprets that when the text says that the people stood b’tahteet ha’har, literally “in the bottom of the mountain,” that the mountain was suspended, chupah-like, over the heads of the assembled people — were they to try to end the relationship with God, they would have been crushed. And some suggest that Song of Songs, which describes a physically passionate affair — seemingly between a man and a woman — is a metaphor for the relationship between God and the Jews.</i></p> <p><i>When it comes to actual marriage, something I admittedly don’t know anything about, I imagine that certain violations are forgivable and that others are not. At some point the two people who make up the zug (the couple) have to assess whether the relationship is worth it. But in the relationship with God, in which we have no way of really knowing whether God has forgiven us, the best we can do is see this annual assessment as a state of the union between the Jews and God.</i></p> <p><i>The High Holy Day season is a chance to renew our relationship with Jewish life. Every year, we stand with our metaphorically wedded partner under a canopy of recommitment, and promise to marry each other all over again. As our Creator, surely God knows not to expect perfection — our entire relationship has been a bumpy cycle of imperfection: We violate our contract of commitment with God, and God rebukes but quickly forgives.</i></p> <p><i>Still, we do what we can to make positive changes in our lives, to increase our commitment to living as nobly and morally as human beings can. We critically assess our actions and hopefully forgive ourselves as we attempt to curb evil inclinations, in the pursuit of more permanent partnerships, with other people and with God. </i>
</p> <p>Shanah tovah!</p>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1159154335320867432006-09-24T23:12:00.000-04:002006-09-24T23:18:55.443-04:00Let's Get Married...Britney-StyleIf you wanna be like Britney, there are a few ways to do it.
1) Let your baby drive, then drop him on his head.
2) Have "Irish twins" (two kids in under two years).
3) Get married in Vegas.
Opting for Vegas (baby, Vegas)? Smart choice. And now <a href="http://wedlok.com/">Wedlok </a>is here to help you in two ways:
1) To corrupt your understanding of how to spell wedlock, and
2) To tell you everything you need to know about getting hitched in Vegas.
I've never been to Vegas. But I hear that what happens there, stays there, unless you need meds prescribed after or go into labor nine months later.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1158852920894728952006-09-21T11:21:00.001-04:002006-09-21T11:35:21.000-04:00Flawed Facebook Fornication Foucault's FaultUniversity-based social networking tool Facebook is all the rage these days for the college and recently-graduated set. And sometimes social networking gets extremely socially intimate. For instance, take this story of girl sees boy's Facebook profile and is intrigued, sends him a "poke," he pokes back out of courtesy, and they set up a date. Three Stella Artoises later, they move from the common room into the girl's bedroom to "see some of my books," she says:
<blockquote style="font-style: italic;">But when the conversation turned to late cultural theorist Michel Foucault's interpretation of religion under late capitalism, Gold and Larson found themselves at an awkward impasse. "I was shocked when he said he believed in 'a greater spirit,'" Larson told The Herald yesterday. "I mean, how was I supposed to respond to that?" Unsure of how to move beyond the topic of God and religion, copulation of the most "awkward, perfunctory variety" ensued, according to Larson.</blockquote>Well, who hasn't been there...when philosophy fails, there's always fornication. Of course, there's the awkwardness of him sneaking out the next morning, and her sending him a note asking him to be in an "It's Complicated" relationship with her, which he thinks is too much of a commitment. Why be tied down, man? Especially to someone who doesn't believe in "a greater spirit"? I mean, how would they raise the kids?
On an ending note, I do need to state that I believe this is a joke <a href="http://media.www.browndailyherald.com/media/storage/paper472/news/2006/04/03/Features/Facebook.poke.Leads.To.Awkward.OneNighter-1777165.shtml?sourcedomain=www.browndailyherald.com&MIIHost=media.collegepublisher.com">from the good people at Brown. </a>The date on the story is April 3, which is close enough to April 1st to give one pause, and if you need any further convincing, check the woman's thesis title. Still, entertainingly written and conceived, and not altogether impossible in today's sexually casual but intellectually complicated world.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1158728865736482072006-09-20T00:47:00.000-04:002006-09-20T01:07:45.816-04:00NY Times Vows in Video!If you've run out of friends who decide to get married, you're undoubtedly missing all of the "how we met" stories that happy couples regale listeners with...
But now you're in luck: The NY Times has launched a new Vows site, complete with videos of the happy couples talking about how they met. Allow me to recommend:
1) <a href="http://video.on.nytimes.com/ifr_main.jsp?nsid=b-46d49b36:10dc96005f1:4d64&fr_story=aeb9b05db8bece2aaa640eee5e566e2d9a5d96c3&st=1158728222706&mp=FLV&cpf=false&fr=092006_123850_w46d49b36x10dc96005f1x1955&rdm=312827.4611947732">Sheera and Steven </a>talk JDate, Swamp Thing and paying for your own filet mignon
2) <a href="http://video.on.nytimes.com/ifr_main.jsp?nsid=b-46d49b36:10dc96005f1:1954&fr_story=aeb9b05db8bece2aaa640eee5e566e2d9a5d96c3&st=1158727126500&mp=FLV&cpf=false&fr=092006_123850_w46d49b36x10dc96005f1x1955&rdm=625895.030502912">Matthew and Shari </a>learn that there are cool places on the Upper West Side, and how Hawaii vacations can break up your relationship...
3) <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/17/fashion/weddings/17fishman.html?_r=2&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1158665678-YjoyyRbtrcGffRAwguTaYQ&oref=slogin">Lisa and Sam</a> meet on JDate and experience some relationship turbulence...
Beware...viewing these videos might make you simultaneously long for romance and long for anti-nausea medication. Or maybe that was just me.
Mazal tov to all the happy couples...Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1158693364506054132006-09-19T15:13:00.000-04:002006-09-19T15:16:04.620-04:00Never Never Never Trust a...<p>The good news is I've solved the conflict between Muslims and Jews. All we have to do is agree that the opposite sex is evil and that singles should only mix in pursuit of immediate marriage. Whaddya say, kids? Doable?</p>Those of you who are loyal <a href="http://jewlicious.com">Jewlicious </a>or JDaters Anonymous readers may remember a post I did last year about a site for frum (religious) teens called, well, FrumTeens, which had a post cautioning girls (in 71 different "reasons") to "<a target="_blank" href="http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1060">Never never never talk to boys</a>..." According to "<a target="_blank" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/19/us/19dating.html?ex=1159329600&en=7700a569586fe1e2&ei=5070&emc=eta1">It's Muslim Boy Meets Girl, But Don't Call it Dating</a>" (NY Times), American Muslims "equate anything labeled “dating” with hellfire, no matter how short a time is involved." (Well, they're kind of right. Or at least it feels like hellfire sometimes. But usually a trip to the doctor clears that up.)
<blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">The couple of hundred people attending the dating seminar [at the Islamic Society of North America’s annual convention, which attracted thousands of Muslims to Chicago over Labor Day weekend] burst out laughing when Imam Muhamed Magid of the Adams Center, a collective of seven mosques in Virginia, summed up the basic instructions that Muslim American parents give their adolescent children, particularly males: “Don’t talk to the Muslim girls, ever, but you are going to marry them. As for the non-Muslim girls, talk to them, but don’t ever bring one home.”</span>
</blockquote>But what about online dating and email messages? Surely that constitutes innocent and pure behavior, providing a safe space for Muslim singles to interact? Not so fast...basically, the article tells us, to Muslim ears, "dating" is a euphemism for premarital sex. Or, as the dating seminar moderator put it, "All of these are traps of the Devil to pull us in and we have no idea we are even going that way.”
<p>Still, most American Muslims acknowledge that the optimal mate-finding process--an arranged marriage--is unattainable in this day and age. But they still want to be involved in the process.</p>So here's the idea...a Joint Muslim-Jewish Task Force on Eradicating the Evil Process of Dating in the Modern World So That Singles Can Hurry Up and Get Married Already But Not to Each Other (Heaven Forbid). The JMJTFoOEtEPoDitMWSTSCHUaGMABNtEO(HF) may just revolutionize relationships, between Jews and Muslims as well as among their respective singles populations. And you heard it here first, folks...Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1158471612060108662006-09-17T01:28:00.000-04:002006-09-17T01:40:54.986-04:00Hooray for Singles!Sometimes singles feel reluctant to admit their uncoupled status, as if it's some sort of stigma or something...well, singles rejoice! Because now we can take couples in a fight--we've got the majority advantage. According to unmarriedamerica.org, the number of unmarried Americans (which includes singles, widowed, and divorced Americans) is <a href="http://www.unmarriedamerica.org/column-one/8-21-06-census-release-on-unmarried-majority.htm">now at 50.3%</a>, In your face, Married America!
And if that weren't enough good news, I'm pleased to also share with you the discovery that National Singles Week is 9/18-23, which begins Monday and runs through next Saturday. (No revelry on Sunday the 24th, though. I don't know why we don't get a Sunday. That's just the rule. Don't ask me. I've got no sway with them, unfortunately. Maybe National Singles Week just "doesn't make Sunday...because of God.")
<a href="http://dating.corante.com/archives/2006/08/21/national_singles_week.php">National Singles Week</a> was started by the Buckeye Singles Council in Ohio in the 1980s to celebrate single life and recognize singles and their contributions to society. So in tribute to all the wonderful singles out there, I'm asking you all to submit your nominations for "Greatest Human Contribution by a Single Person." Or some other such category. Consider it open nominations for any category involving single people. Allow me to get you started with some suggested categories...the rest is up to you:
<ul><li>Most Responsible Online Dater</li><li>Least Likely to See a Matchmaker</li><li>Best Performance Involving an Embarrassing Situation</li><li>Best Online Dating Profile</li><li>Best Singles Book</li><li>Best TV Representation of Single Life (Since the Cancellation of Sex and the City)</li><li>Most Creative Breakup Strategy</li><li>Best Blog on the Subject of Singles and Dating</li></ul>
And no, that last one doesn't <span style="font-style: italic;">have </span>to be me. And you don't have to stick to these categories either. You know, just like in dating...no rules here. Just be nice to each other. After all, in the world of the uncoupled, we all have to stick together.
Happy National Singles Week to all you JDaters Anonymousers....
<a href="http://dating.corante.com/archives/2006/08/21/national_singles_week.php" target="_blank" onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)"></a>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1157948566744441152006-09-11T00:15:00.000-04:002006-09-11T00:27:52.443-04:00Belated RoundupI've been compiling some recent posts by other people that I thought were worth linking to, and was hoping that they'd gel into some larger lesson about dating, but I seem to be lacking the necessary gelatin. So here they are, sans great insight from me, presented on their own merits. Discuss amongst yourselves...
Forbes had done a story on whether men should marry career women, and the answer was a resounding no. So naturally, <a href="http://www.forbes.com/home/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html?thisSpeed=35000%27,800,600">Forbes asked one of their female writers</a>, a career woman herself, to respond. Essentially, she tells dudes to start going to the gym. Elsewhere, a<a href="http://tomatodiaries.blogspot.com/2006/08/joy-luck-laundry.html"> woman posts</a> about being told by her laundry lady that she'd better hurry up and get married; the only upside is she gets <a href="http://newyorksnews.com/gawker/blogorrhea_nyc_youll_probably_die_alone_and_miserable">Gawker </a>traffic for it. And EW's Popwatch (with an assist from me) coins a new word that has dating lexicon potential: <a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2006/08/starbucks_now_o.html#comment-20901051">ventimentality</a>.<a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2006/08/starbucks_now_o.html#comment-20901051" target="_blank" onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)"></a>
On the Jewish side of things...At the <a href="http://www.jewishexponent.com/article/10427/">Philly Jewish Exponent</a>, a writer gives his moderately amusing advice about what to do and not do at your next singles event...<a href="http://draydel.blogspot.com/2006/08/some-thoughts-on-dating.html">Draydel writes </a>about having been to a singles weekend, and discovering that men have insecurities too, she feels a new empathy for them, which is very magnanimous and open-minded of her. But I suspect there's no forgiving what happened to<a href="http://chayyeisarah.blogspot.com/2006/08/where-we-are-ok-so-over-shabbat-at.html"> this friend of Chayyei Sarah's</a>, who went on a date with a guy who was already on a date with someone else. I only wish I were kidding. A real disturbing story that might make you hate men (or at least, men who behave like the dude in the story did). So consider yourselves warned.
And in other news, I'm nearly broke. Donations accepted via PayPal and in the form of magical voodoo rituals that ensure prosperity. No goat sacrifices, please.
<a href="http://chayyeisarah.blogspot.com/2006/08/where-we-are-ok-so-over-shabbat-at.html" target="_blank" onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)"></a>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1157552874578204822006-09-06T10:20:00.000-04:002006-09-06T10:43:48.146-04:00Smokin' Singles: A Dream Becomes a Google AlertA few years ago, I met someone through the internet. He was a real sweetheart online, but with a serious edge when we met in real life. He lived far away, which wouldn't necessarily have discouraged me if the chemistry was right. But when we met, I think it was immediately clear to both of us that it wasn't a match. Plus, he was as devoted a smoker as I was a writer. Despite my sending him an occasional email, we fell out of touch; because there was really little point, I guess.
Last night, I had a thought before sleeping that crossed into a dream state--I knew a girl for this guy; she had spunk, and humor, was a Republican, was passionate about Israel, and she was a smoker. If the distance were no issue, I would set them up. Not like being a smoker was the only reason to match people up--if the goal was to recruit new smokers or get the old ones to stop, a smoker/non-smoker pairing might be a better strategy.
But the smoking factor, combined with the other ones, made me feel like maybe I should get back in touch with him, if only to put him in touch with her. They could be smokin' hot soulmates. Or they could be a total mismatch despite having things in common. Or the distance could prove too much for both of them. Who knows? But who was I to stand in the way of a potential match? And how else would these folks meet each other? It's not like there's an online dating service for smokers, is there?
And this morning, there it was, in my GoogleAlerts folder--"<a href="http://presszoom.com/story_117688.html">Dating for Smokers Launches SpeedDating</a>." DFS was started by <a href="http://udrivedating.com/">UDrive Dating</a>, a corporation that covers niche markets like Large and Lovely, Color Blind Personals, and yes, Smoke-Free Dating. (No reason not to cover both sides of the market; next up, "I only smoke when I drink, and since the NYC smoking ban, I can't smoke anywhere anymore and it sucks" Dating.)
Anyway, this taught me that either a) I am a dating site prophet, or b) anything I might possibly think of has already been done. So the choice is believing myself prophetic or unoriginal? What will the lady choose...Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1157488866736033542006-09-05T16:36:00.000-04:002006-09-05T16:41:07.523-04:00Coming Soon, a ChangeBecause of various Blogger problems and a customer service department that rivals JDate in the race for the coveted title of "Ignoring Your Customers," I'm going to be moving this blog over to a new Typepad-powered site. So look for a new template, new graphics and photos, and most importantly, a new URL that's shorter, sleeker, and 50% more flame retardant.
More on this situation as my technological ability develops. Stay tuned!Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1157263343104434322006-09-03T01:53:00.000-04:002006-09-03T02:15:34.850-04:00Are You Broken Up? MySpace May Know...Are you and your special lady in a relationship? Are you sure?
Are you and your boyfriend, like, totally broken up? Are you sure?
In the electronic age, there's only one way to know: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/03/fashion/03myspace.html?_r=1&ref=fashion&oref=slogin">check all of your significant other's online affiliations</a>. Because he may still be cruising JDate, or she may have changed her MySpace designation from "In a Relationship" to "Single," or your special someone may not be ready to move forward with you and only you--and you'll find out because her Friendster relationship designation is now "It's Complicated."
<span style="font-style: italic;"><blockquote>But what are the rules? How long are you supposed to wait to change your status after a breakup — or, for that matter, when a relationship begins? And beyond checking off status, what should you do with sexy comments a fling has posted? Or when do you downgrade an ex’s online avatar from your list of top friends?</blockquote></span>But really this isn't news. Relationships are always complicated. The only way to make sure you're on the same page is if you sit down and have a conversation. Close that IM window, kids--I'm talking about a real conversation. You know, the kind you have over dinner or even over the phone.
Yes, I'm radical. And still single, actually, so never mind, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Don't do drugs--stay in school!Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1157055982781771092006-08-31T16:23:00.000-04:002006-08-31T16:26:41.406-04:00"Wedding Bell Blues" (New Jewish Week Column Online)From "<a href="http://www.estherk.com/?p=43">Wedding Bell Blues</a>," my newest column now online:
<p style="font-style: italic;"></p><blockquote><p style="font-style: italic;">Weddings are magic. The details have come together according to plan. Two people have found each other and decided to spend their lives together, no matter what fate brings them. The bride looks like a queen; plus, she has special powers.</p> <p style="font-style: italic;">On her wedding day, the Jewish bride has the “Bridas Touch” — a temporary condition in which, particularly under the wedding canopy, her marital fortune is contagious. While she’s under the canopy accepting a ring from her betrothed, she gives single women her regular jewelry to wear, for added luck. The remainder of wine from her glass is also imbued with special powers and distributed to single wedding guests; this “segulah” wine is a Red Bull energy drink for the uncoupled, increasing the inherent bashertiness of the imbiber.</p> <p style="font-style: italic;">The bridal wizardry begins even before the ceremony. When the mothers of the bride and groom break a plate before the ceremony, signifying that a kinyan, or transaction, has taken place, the shards are given to single women for good luck. At my brother’s wedding, I reached into my purse during the reception, and promptly sliced my finger open on such a lucky shard. Luckily, a handsome doctor with a great sense of humor came to my rescue, cleaning the wound with vanilla vodka and suturing it using frayed napkin strands. After cocktails and dancing, we hid from the crowd under the Viennese Table and he told me he loved me — that table of delicious pastries serving as chuppah to our love. (Or if you prefer the truth to literary license: The finger-slicing was followed by a band-aid, and a hora, during which some other dancer impaled her four-inch heel in the center of my big toe.)</p></blockquote><p style="font-style: italic;"></p><p>For more, click the link above.
</p>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1156695896019136432006-08-27T12:13:00.000-04:002006-08-27T12:43:36.056-04:00Being Single is a DrawI always said that you could find a magazine quote to support any position...and if anyone doubted your methods or the opinion's validity, you could always say, "Oh, it's true, I read it in a magazine," because even if you hadn't, it was probable that you could have. Nowadays, it's all about the internet, of course, with new magazines and webwire services launching daily, and with a steady stream of surveys that prove pretty much anything.
Well, you'll be happy to know that being single has its pros and cons. For instance, depressed people who walk down the aisle <a href="http://go.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=13180817&src=rss/oddlyEnoughNews">experience alleviation of their depression</a>. Unless, of course, they <a href="http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14333858/">marry the wrong person </a>and experience a post-wedding life of conflict and unhappiness. As the article says, "People who were happy before getting married and end up in a marriage plagued by distance or conflict -- qualities associated with a depressed spouse -- might be better off single." (Ya think?)
But, married people, on average, <a href="http://webwire.com/ViewPressRel.asp?SESSIONID=&aId=18385">are fatter [typos from the original survey, which calls into question its veracity...]</a>.
<span style="font-style: italic;"><blockquote>One reason could be that married people have more relaxed attitudes in terms of body image, whereas singles may view themselves as part of the "marriage market" and will go to greater lengths to say fit, says Robyn McGee author of Hungry for More: A Keeping it Real Guide for Black Women on Weight and Body Image.</blockquote></span>But <a href="http://www.10news.com/newsarchive/9683181/detail.html">single people die sooner</a>:
<blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">A study by the University of California, San Diego and the University of California, Los Angeles professors found that out of 67,000 Americans, those who never married tended to die earlier than those who were divorced, separated or widowed. </span>
</blockquote>And on the other hand, being married is no guarantee for longevity... married women who hold back on expressing their feelings also <a href="http://www.local10.com/family/4207636/detail.html">die younger </a>than women who express their emotions:
<blockquote style="font-style: italic;">Women who reported usually or always keeping their feelings to themselves when in conflict with their husbands, known as self-silencing, had more than four times the risk of dying from any cause compared to women who always show their feelings, the researchers said.</blockquote>And of course, there's the old joke. Married people live about as long as single people; it just feels like it's longer.
But I know these are all true. Don't believe me? I read it in an online magazine. Or five.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1155875100945325722006-08-17T23:58:00.000-04:002006-08-18T01:01:39.576-04:00This Just In: Some Men Still JerksOver at the <a href="http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/preview.php?id=16348">Jewish Journal's singles column</a>, we learn--once again--that online dating can be emotionally perilous...even during the correspondence portion of the experience.
After finding a profile that looked interesting, intrepid dater Diane Saltzberg zipped over an email, asking the potential mensch what he meant by wanting to hear from women who were "fit." I know...those of you who have been there and have a few extra pounds on you (and really, so many of us do) are saying, "Girlfriend, why'd you do that? We all know that men who put 'fit' in their profile mean that they want someone skinny! You shoulda just skipped him!" Well, we couldn't get to her in time, but the dude--who she dubbed "Mr. Sensitive" for reasons that will become clear and involve heavy sarcasm--responded in a way she'll never forget.
<p></p><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><p>"Your profile is extremely well-written, as is your note. You are clearly very, very bright, as am I. That's why I can't understand why you'd be in such absolute denial of a clear reality. You didn't fill in your weight in your profile because you're not happy with it. If you were, it would be there and you wouldn't be writing all that senseless crap about Jane Mansfield, with whom you have absolutely nothing in common. </p><p>Look in the mirror, see the same thing anyone can see in your photos: You are soft, untoned, out-of-shape and, yes, fat. Then, either fix it or accept it, but don't try to make believe you're not. And certainly don't try to convince others you aren't because it makes you seem absolutely crazy. Now go do the right thing." </p><p> I felt like I had been hit in the stomach. His e-mail was breathtaking in its cruelty.</p></blockquote><p></p><p>We've all asked this question before...who does such a thing? Who fancies himself so impervious to criticism, so above and beyond reproach, that he feels entitled to make someone else feel like crap, when a simple "Thanks for your interest, but I don't think we'd make a good match" might make a frustratingly generic, but merciful and menschy response? Or, as the writer puts it..." Why be gratuitously mean?"</p><p>Why indeed. It's the $64,000 question. She's willing to give JDate another chance--some of the rest of us have had it. But I would urge those of you who are out there and might be "inspired" to share your noble opinions, in the name of "tough love" or whatever in a similar mode to the above, please, opt for the generic, menschier response. Believe us, it makes you a better person.</p><p><a href="http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/preview.php?id=16348">The whole article is here,</a> complete with her email address at the end--feel free to send her a note of support and commiseration...
</p><p>
</p>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1155839925635261982006-08-17T14:33:00.000-04:002006-08-17T14:38:45.723-04:00"Coming Attractions" (new JW column is online)Greetings columnizers. My newest Jewish Week singles column, "Coming Attractions," is now available online.
<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">
</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Coming Attractions</span>
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">by Esther D. Kustanowitz</span>
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">New York Jewish Week, First Person Singular</span><em><strong>
August 18, 2006</strong></em>
<blockquote><p><span style="font-style: italic;">When my friends and I moved to New York City after college, theater and high culture were out of our price range. But at the movies, we found affordable, air-conditioned entertainment. Popcorn was always extra (in terms of both coins and calories), but a secret bonus was included in the price of admission: Before the film started, we were treated to numerous movie trailers, designed to entice us into future movie ticket purchases and to create buzz for upcoming film releases. We’d predict how many trailers we’d get, and be delighted when we got more than expected. Based on how good each preview was, we’d make our decisions right there — “no way!” “totally!” and “maybe on DVD.”</span></p> <p style="font-style: italic;">In the dating world, several mechanisms operate as trailers, setting us up with overly vast expectations or none at all, and causing us to make instant judgments about the people we meet as romantic potentials. If we’re looking, we’re often “treated” to previews of the main attraction before we even determine whether the featured presentation holds any attraction at all. The movie judgment mechanism is activated. Bearing little information, we discard potential dates before we ever meet them, or elevate our expectations to such a level that no man or woman alive can ever hope to reach them.</p></blockquote><p style="font-style: italic;"></p><p>To read the rest of this article, visit <a href="http://www.estherk.com/2006/08/17/coming-attractions-jw-first-person-singular/">this page at EstherK.com</a>.
</p>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1155684885607241592006-08-15T19:09:00.000-04:002006-08-15T19:34:45.686-04:00Online Dating So Easy a Monkey Could Do It!!According to the AP, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orangutan">orangutans </a>(don't call them monkeys! I mean, except for clever headlines...) will be using the internet to find mates. Zookeepers are planning to hook up single orangutans from the Netherlands with others from Indonesia. (Those meddling zookeepers, always trying to marry off the singles...)
Sources (and by "sources" I mean "there are no sources, so wait for the joke to hit you") say that the single orangutans' parents insist that their kids don't need the internet to find a mate, and are shocked that scientists are plotting the dating and mating of their offspring to orangutans from another country.
First of all, we all know how hard it is to have long-distance relationships:
<blockquote>[A spokeswoman for the Apenheul ape park in the central Dutch city of Apeldoorn] said the chance of two orangutans actually mating as a result of the online interaction was small due to the problem of transporting them between the Netherlands and Indonesia. "But I wouldn't rule it out completely," she told The Associated Press. </blockquote>
And if you add the cultural differences and the language barrier, it makes for some awkward family moments: she wants a traditional Dutch ceremony, and he wants to raise the kids Indonesian.
For more hot international orangutan action, click over to <a href="http://www.wtopnews.com/index.php?nid=456&sid=881829">this article </a>that tells you all about how single orangutans will meet and mate using the same internet that you use for your, er, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=myurbankvetch-20&path=http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/2ML9H62TZSNCY">Amazon </a>shopping.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1155141166075781922006-08-09T12:31:00.000-04:002006-08-09T12:33:23.966-04:00"The Love Computer"<p>Last week, mid-heatwave, I saw a couple--visibly sweating into their clothing, causing darkening patches to puddle on their backs, chests and under their arms--who insisted on not just holding hands, but occasionally walking with his arm around her shoulder...you know, the
kind of people who never want to be apart, even if it's 100 degrees out.</p>"You've found that special someone, and you never want to be apart..." I know that <a href="http://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91gtoilet.phtml">SNL's "Love Toilet" </a>was a fake product. Really. But I really have a feeling that this new trend of "<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/internet/08/08/cybercouples.reut/index.html?section=cnn_tech">Couple-Surfing</a>" is an outgrowth of that kind of disgustingly-crazy-in-love couple, for whom PDA still means "public displays of affection."
<p>While I'm all for couples communicating--whatever method they decide to use--I feel like this trend introduces a third party and may not facilitate communication; in some cases, the intervening layer of technology may lead to misunderstandings...</p><p>In any case, thank Wired's blog for <a href="http://www.wired.com/news/columns/0,71074-0.html?tw=wn_columns_imomus_5">this list of the interesting things couples said about how they view the internet</a>, including:"An infomaniac is better off with another infomaniac who understands and partakes of their addiction, rather than mixing the tender electrovert
with a more organically-centered human," and "There is something poetic in an e-mail correspondence, even if you see the other person every day. The e-mail personalities can be somehow different." </p><p>I've long mourned the loss of the love letter tradition--will our emails of LOL and ROTFLs someday serve the same romantic and nostalgic function as the lovingly inscribed, handwritten declarations of feelings immortalized by couples separated by life and war and parental or social impediments? Perhaps this trend of couples communicating with each other online might serve as a romance renaissance of sorts?</p><p>One thing's certain...if the article/list reveals any essential truth, it is this statement:</p><blockquote><p><em>"I think my lover would prefer it if I wasn't checking blogs at 2 in the morning in my underwear."</em></p></blockquote><p>Yeah, we're pretty sure you're right about that.<em></em></p>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1154637889297664082006-08-03T16:43:00.000-04:002006-08-03T16:44:49.350-04:00Shocking Quiz DevelopmentTaking the "Which Sex and the City vixen are YOU most like" quiz over a year after the series is over... and the results are...shockingly...
<table align="center" border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" width="350"><tbody><tr><td align="center" bg style="color:#dddddd;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;font-family:Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;" ><b>You Are Most Like Miranda!</b></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#eeeeee"><center><img src="http://images.yournewromance.com/whichsexandthecityvixenareyouquiz/miranda.jpg" height="100" width="100" /></center><span style="color:#000000;">
While you've had your fair share of romance, men don't come first
Guys are a distant third to your friends and career.
And this independence *is* attractive to some men, in measured doses.
Remember that if you imagine the best outcome, it might just happen.
Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect...
But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div align="center"><a href="http://ynr.blogthings.com/whichsexandthecityvixenareyouquiz/">Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?</a></div>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1154537711049432742006-08-02T12:51:00.000-04:002006-08-02T13:15:02.260-04:00Coping with the Question<p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">(Here's my latest singles column...I wrote this column before finding out about last week's Upper West Side tragedy, so any thematic similarity between Hamlet's ponderings and those of someone who's clinically depressed are strictly coincidental, and not intended as a commentary on the tragedy; still, I felt I had to address it in some way (and that's what paragraphs 4 & 5 are about. I hope that the community comforts Sarah's family and provides support for them and for all singles and marrieds in the future. EDK)
</p><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: italic;"><strong><a href="http://thejewishweek.com/middle/table41.php3?artid=5239" target="_blank">Coping with the Question</a>
by Esther D. Kustanowitz
</strong><strong>(First Person Singular, NY Jewish Week, August 4, 2006)</strong><strong>
</strong></p><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">“To be, or not to be, that is the question,” Hamlet pondered, torturing himself with an existential query. As singles, we too grapple with an essential question: “Why are you still single?”</p><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Pose the question, even theoretically, and hordes will respond: you’re too picky, fat, short, ugly or boring; you’re not putting yourself out there; you have issues; you’re spiritually or morally bankrupt; you fear intimacy and commitment; you’re waiting for impossible perfection; or you’re so “whiny,” you should “just freakin’ wed anyone already.” (That last one? Courtesy of an anonymous blogger, complaining about my June column.)</span>
<p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">While self-examination is already a single person’s occupational hazard, asking such a question repeatedly takes an emotional toll. When we’re alone, the question echoes, engendering a burgeoning paranoia that the purgatory may well be eternal, and because of some unrevealed and essentially unforgivable hubris. Men blame women, women blame men, everyone blames their parents and their community, and themselves.</p><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I had already completed this column when I got the news that a 25-year-old Upper West Sider, known by most as a happy young woman, had ended her life. Over the last week or so, there has been much discussion of who or what to blame for her death: named suspects include the community pressure to marry, a recent breakup, and clinical depression.</span>
<p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">And although the community is not necessarily — as others have intimated — responsible for clinical depression, it may well have been one of many factors creating stress and hopelessness in the young woman’s life. I can only hope that the community will respond appropriately — helping her family to mourn and find comfort, and creating programs to better ensure that people of all ages feel supported and valued, socially, religiously and emotionally.</p><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">But the question “Why are you still single?” or alternately, “Why aren’t you married yet?” is yet another form of community pressure and expressed expectations. When a single responds with “I guess I just haven’t found the right person yet,” the yenta-in-residence leans in, sometimes touching your arm, shoulder or leg to indicate just how sympathetic they are, and “consoles” you: “Don’t worry, we’ll find you someone. God willing, it should be soon too by you. Maybe you should try meeting some new people?” Oh. Like we hadn’t thought of that before.</span>
<p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">When it comes to the question, everyone — especially those who aren’t single — thinks he or she has the answer. Those <a href="http://www.therulesbook.com/">Rules ladies </a>thought they knew (“never accept a Saturday night date if he calls Thursday”). Those people who told us that our potentials were “<a href="%3Ciframe%20src=%22http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=myurbankvetch-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=068987474X&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&amp;amp;lc1=0000ff&bc1=000000&bg1=ffffff&f=ifr%22%20style=%22width:120px;height:240px;%22%20scrolling=%22no%22%20marginwidth=%220%22%20marginheight=%220%22%20frameborder=%220%22%3E%3C/iframe%3E">just not that into us</a>” thought they knew, too. Shmuley Boteach thinks he knows; in <a href="http://www.beliefnet.com/story/192/story_19240_1.html">a Beliefnet.com article from June</a>, Boteach told one mother that the reason her 29-year-old daughter was (oh, the horror!) still single was because she had friends. Ask her to sever ties with her friends for a few weeks, Boteach advised — after experiencing true loneliness, she’d be ready to accept a partner into her life.</p><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Evan Marc Katz, </span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" href="http://e-cyrano.com">E-Cyrano.com’s </a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">“online dating guru,” who I interviewed in one of my first columns, employs an irreverent, humorous approach to the infernal, eternal question in his new book, “</span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" href="http://whyyourestillsingle.com/">Why You’re Still Single: What Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">.” Katz and his co-author, Linda Holmes, present perspectives rather than answers, and the resultant honesty is refreshing. Against a backdrop of pop culture and humor, the duo delves into the depths of dating do’s and don’t’s, acting as the friends you really need — the funny ones who aren’t afraid to hurt your feelings if it will mean helping you out.</span>
<p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Struggling with one major question or many smaller ones, we understand that friends cannot take the place of our bashert. But neither should the pursuit of a significant other take the place of our already-significant friendships, the ones that provide love and support in a dating environment that — as we suffer the slings and arrows of our outrageous fortunes — can often feel like a friendless void.</p><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shakespeare’s Hamlet is defined by his solitude; the Melancholy Dane cannot trust the people who surround him, not even his family. Most of us are luckier than Hamlet. Perhaps if he’d kept company with friends other than Ophelia, or if he’d experienced the proper support from his community, his existential dilemmas might have seemed a little less weighty.</span>
<p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><em> Esther D. Kustanowitz took too many Shakespeare classes in college. You can reach her at jdatersanonymous@gmail.com. </em></p>Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1154100607737749712006-07-28T11:29:00.000-04:002006-08-02T13:34:34.956-04:00So Much SadnessIn addition to my ongoing concern about the situation in Israel, a situation that looks like <a href="http://estherkustanowitz.typepad.com/myurbankvetch2005/2006/07/where_my_zionis.html">it may further involve some of my friends and relatives</a>, I've been struck by the number of sad stories in the press, many of them about single people struggling in their lives.
The other day, I saw <a href="http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/upper_w__side_suicide_plunge_regionalnews_michael_pope.htm">this story</a> (hat tip to <a href="http://www.canonist.com/?p=1104">Canonist</a>). And before I knew it, I got a phone call, talked to a reporter, and voila...a friend got a call from another friend who told him I was "<a href="http://www.nysun.com/article/36919">on the cover of the Sun</a>." My friend didn't even grab a copy--and certainly didn't read the story--before calling me to congratulate me on my fame and imminent fortune. Having not read the article, or even having been aware of what the context was, he seemed confused when my response was not "Yippee," but "oh." My heart fell.
To be sure, a writer wants to be acknowledged for her work. But to be clear, there is no fame and fortune to be gained from such a story...only a prevailing sense of sadness and the tragedy of the circumstances.
May Sarah's family know comfort after this senseless tragedy.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1153916139092151952006-07-27T18:15:00.000-04:002006-07-27T18:19:39.890-04:00"Do the Right Thing...It's Just Business"As a freelancer, I do a lot of business with different clients. Usually we contract for a certain rate (only in rare cases does that actually involve a real contract), I do the work and they (eventually) pay. Ideal would be immediate payment on delivery of the product, which is submitted by a certain deadline adhered to by both parties. But realistically, there's often a delay on the return. And sometimes, an initial client meeting clarifies that there's no chemistry between us and we go our separate ways. That's business.
With that as preamble, allow me to introduce the following situation (already well-covered in the blogosphere during my Middle East assignment, <a href="http://prdifferently.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/07/how_not_to_act_.html">most notably here</a>, in a post cited by the ever topical <a href="http://stevesilver.net">Steve Silver</a>). A man and a woman meet on JDate (or any other online site). They trade an email or two, talk once or twice and decide to go out. They go to an expensive dinner (his choice); when the bill comes she offers to pay half, and he tells her he'll take care of it. They both go to their respective homes; when he calls her a few days later, she doesn't call him back. And that's where it all goes to hell.
He gets it in his head that she owes him her half of the dinner bill and that he aims to collect it. He sends her emails and leaves her a series of voice mail messages to that effect, first appealing to her to "do the right thing"--since dating is equal to business in his world, her agreeing to accept his offer of dinner payment was her unspoken acceptance that there would be a future date--and ultimately threatening legal action against her at her place of business.
The guy has a strong confident voice, and conveys that he's used to doing business. Even while threatening, he seems socially able, if annoying--as if he's reporting on traffic conditions or conveying information about an apartment she might be interested in, telling her that "the ball's totally in her court" and that she should "do the right thing." Soon the voice mails and emails are all over the internet, including his name and hers, and being discussed all over the blogosphere.
But it's fifty bucks. Let me repeat that. Fifty bucks. While fifty bucks is nothing that's ever been spent on me for a first date, and perhaps it shouldn't be, it's still not a major amount of money for anyone with an actual job. For him, I doubt it's about the money. It's a control issue; it's a rejection issue; and it's the principle of the thing--he wanted to go out with her, and she didn't, therefore he feels that she owes him. But that doesn't mean she owes him money, whether it's fifty or two hundred and fifty bucks.
But this situation raises questions about what's right from a point of etiquette, from a point of technical legality, and from a point of <span style="font-style: italic;">menschlikhkeit </span>(behaving like a mensch). There's no way to know if "let's split it" means "let's split it," or "let's never do this again." I understand the pain of not being called back. And, although not proudly, I will admit to not having called guys back even if I said I would; when a guy asks if he can call again, it's harder to say "I don't think so" than it is to say "sure."
Is agreeing to go on a date a business transaction? If so, is there any standard contract, terms to which both parties have implicitly agreed even though no one signed anything? How does one dissolve a partnership that was never started? And what are our obligations to the men and women we date?Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1153702580349270962006-07-24T20:40:00.000-04:002006-07-27T00:36:46.163-04:00Last NightsLast nights have always been difficult. One tends to get caught up in the details of departure, and within those details are layers of doubt and lingering regret--over the undone or underdone, over the potential for intrinsic change, and for the vanishing moments of the now in the stark awareness that the present becomes past in the instant it happens.
Being here has been everything and nothing I'd anticipated. The anxieties were mostly unfounded, and the experience overwhelmingly positive. Friendships were forged and realizations discovered. To an extent, I feel younger--as if some sort of vital essence were recaptured and, to my great surprise, reinvigorates me. I'm infused.
And now, because it's a last night of this, a genus of freedom that I've lived through the last few weeks, I fear its imminent pastness, the moment at which this becomes that thing that once was; and puzzle at the fact that the life I left behind is again my future.
More characters will be typed, but only after departure.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1152447984404074432006-07-09T08:18:00.001-04:002006-07-09T08:27:14.780-04:00Sign Me Up, Scotty...Already find yourself dating Klingons or Vulcans or singles who seem like they're from space, the final frontier? Skip the formalities and sign up for <a href="http://trekpassions.com">TrekPassions</a>, the online dating site for science fiction fans.
And yes, they've already added a "Browncoat" Group. If you don't know what that is, this probably isn't the site for you.
According to the report in the <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/30/tech/main1769988.shtml">CBS news site:</a>
<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Trek Passions received a boost back in March, when, on his late-night talk show, Conan O'Brien quipped: "The fans say the dating website is going great and any month now they hope a girl will join." It's not quite as bad as that. Although Passions Network President Michael Carter says they don't track such things, an informal count suggests more than a quarter of the 2,550 users are women. [...]</span>
<span style="font-style: italic;">In many ways the site attracts about what you'd expect. One person interviewed for this story left the endearingly rambling voice mail of a man not entirely comfortable with women. And some profiles seem to be written in another language: "A TOS-TNG-DS9 Fan Looking For par'Machi." </span></blockquote>
As someone who just told a story on Shabbat afternoon about how Return of the Jedi helped me get an SAT question right, I'm so glad I didn't understand that.Esther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.com6