YOU SAY NEATO, CHECK YOUR LIBIDO

From Israel21C: Millions of Americans suffer from lack of sexual desire - or at least think they do. Now, for the first time, an Israeli-developed test can scientifically determine the level of a person's libido. The method - developed by a team led by Prof. Yoram Vardi of Rambam Hospital in Haifa - can enable medical professionals to determine the root cause of diminished sexual desire, and whether medication or treatment is being effective. "What we've developed is a test that objectively measures the subject's amount of interest in sex - it rates their libido," Vardi told ISRAEL21c. "Until now, through all the years of research in this subject, we've only have had subjective ideas on this matter - mainly what the patient would tell us. There isn't even an evaluated standardized questionnaire on libido. What we set out to do is to devise something objective - that can measure and quantify a person's sexual desire." OK, I know this isn't a joke press release, that it's about a drug that can really bring hope to couples suffering from lack of libido. But because I'm a dating visionary, the release inspired me. I wonder if it might be worth the time and money to create a product that would help the dating-impaired. Say you like a guy or a gal. There's flirtation. There's banter. But there's no action, no DTR (as Anna Broadway taught me--"Define the Relationship" talk). And you're understandably afraid to put yourself out there, especially if a friendship is at risk. If only there were a risk-free way to find out whether your friend is interested in you as a friend-with-benefits... Well, now there is: new Truth is a fragrance that helps you ask questions that will get you the closure you need. Truth contains sodium pentathol, so the sprayee has no choice: he or she must answer your questions honestly. Can you handle the Truth? Sate your curiosity, with Truth. Or, if the prospect of questioning your crush troubles you, try new Unmitigated Truth: mist your intended with just one spray of this new vanilla-scented fragrance, and if the object of your affection doesn't object to your affection, a pink line will appear across his or her forehead for three seconds. If there's no "there" there, there will be a blue line. Unmitigated Truth: A pregnancy test for romance.