Thursday, June 15, 2006
...don't know when I'll be back again. The date is rapidly approaching. I report to Newark airport Sunday morning, for my flight to Israel with birthright israel...while there I will be observing international trends in Jewish dating. In other words, "watching kids hook up with each other on the trip." Well, we do have a bunch of siblings with us, so statistically that probably reduces the number of people who are potential hookups on our bus. But still, I have some hope that some young Jews on our bus will find love as they discover Israel. That would be totally Jewlicious. In addition to having the chance to see Israel again through the eyes of newcomers, I'm hoping that this trip really helps me reconnect with college age kids--find out what their concerns are, explore their relationship with Jewish life and their nascent connections to Israel. If I can, I'll arrange for some guest bloggers. But if not, stay tuned, and I'll try to post again soon. Next post from Jerusalem!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Blogcarnival! Probably the last one for a while, too, since people have stopped submitting posts and I simply don't have the time. Plus, I'm not convinced that anyone's been really reading this series, so I'll take June and July to reconsider, potentially reviving the Carnival in August, but we'll see. My favorite piece of news from recent weeks--which means, for those of you not following my sarcasm, my LEAST favorite piece of news--is that the Jewish singles "crisis" has been upgraded to "Tropical Storm David." Just kidding. But if an ad in a recent issue of the Jewish Week is to be believed, the crisis has indeed escalated, to the point that they're calling it a..."catastrophe." So in case you thought tsunamis or hurricanes or war or terrorism were catastrophes? I quote Inigo Montoya: "You keep on using that word...perhaps it doesn't mean what you think it means." But more on this later. The new ABC show "How to Get the Guy," is set in San Francisco and features Teresa Strasser, former host of "While You Were Out," as well as the former FOX 5 morning show correspondent who interviewed me about Rosh Hashanah in 2004. JTA reports on the JDate trip to Israel, which was advertising as a trip that was for ages 20s to 70s. (Why didn't I go?) and also informs of a Ukrainian Jewish singles site to help combat intermarriage in that region.
Attention Frumster Shoppers documents the end of his long-distance relationship, with humor and then with a more introspective post. AFS also shows his sense of humor with his utilization of Frumster screen names as lines of poetry. Sarah compares herself to Angelina Jolie. Sort of. And Writersbloc talks of alone time and wanting a certain kind of clutter in her space.
I'd love to say that every singles piece I read teaches me something. I wish I could summon the love for this piece from the Jewish Journal about online dating and how great it is. I'm thrilled that it took the writer, a veteran of years of long-term relationships, a matter of two short years to find someone special via the internet. But I can't. You read it, and maybe you'll be able to...
Cruises (and other things) cost more when you're single. Via the Jewish Standard comes this oddly disjointed piece that seems to make three points (life's cheaper when you're coupled; there should be some sort of rule for who pays when couples go out with singles; and in fact an entire book of etiquette is needed to help people cope with singles-related situations) or none at all. Full disclosure, I know the writer--she's a longtime family friend and talented writer/editor who's been very supportive of me. Which is one of the reasons that this piece is puzzling to me. If she's reading this, and wants me to comment in a follow-up piece, I'd be happy to.
Shmuley Boteach irks me again, this time with his response to a mother who's concerned about her 29 year old not finding her bashert. His advice takes several parts: 1) the mother should definitely get involved in helping her daughter meet men, 2) that the daughter needs to cut herself off from her friends and get really lonely. And I quote:
"When I counsel singles like your daughter, I tell them first to cut themselves off from their friends for three weeks. After three weeks, they'll really yearn and crave company. Then, they'll see a man as someone special instead of someone in whom they can find flaws. Second, I urge young people to observe the two-date rule: go on a second date no matter how bad the first date was. Don't dismiss people immediately, but instead learn to simply enjoy human company. It is usually those second dates that lead to real possibilities."
Second-date rules are probably a good idea generally speaking. But if a woman, say, in her mid-thirties, cuts herself off from her friends for three weeks, the result is less likely to be healthy dating and more likely to be depression and suicidal tendencies. When you're depressed, you make no one a good date or a companion. Or at least that's what my friends tell me. Here's wishing you all love, happiness and satisfaction. Have a great summer.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
This week's column, "A Dating Departure," shares some of my reflections from January's JSinglesCruise to the Caribbean:
[...] It had begun the night before departure, like the night before my first day of camp or college. Part of it was the packing process. The more I put into my suitcase, the more it seemed to take out of me. I wondered if clothes would hinder me socially or matter at all. Still, beyond the grip of my own anxiety, I understood that future always lies just beyond the vanishing point of your own vision. On the horizon, there was something — of an unknown quality and duration, but still, something — to be found.For more, click the above link.