Tuesday, May 04, 2004

I'VE BEEN FOUND/ON A LIGHTER NOTE... Well, that didn't take long at all. I built it, and people came. And they officially pronounced this site "depressing." To depress others was never my intention--I wanted to create a community so we could bond through our experiences, good and bad, and find hope in each other. But until other people start to contribute, I'm here on my own. And I've got to brighten up the place with a little humor. So, I give you "Seuss and the City," from the New York Jewish Week, 3/5/04. It is a humorous, hopeful tale of one woman's dating odyssey in New York City. Enjoy... Seuss and The City by Esther D. Kustanowitz - Special To The Jewish Week There once was a girl who lived in the City And yearned for a guy who was smart, fun and witty. Every week, after shul, she had Shabbat dinner But hadn’t yet met the one guy who could win her. So to make her love life a bit less inert She went on a quest to find her bashert. One Friday at BJ, in the Upper West 80s, She sat in the pews amidst hundreds of ladies. The scene that Shabbat was singles a-plenty, Ranging in ages from 50 to 20. But the organ-based service just wasn’t her style, Even before people danced in the aisle. Saturday night, over Drip’s apple pie, she decided to go give speed dating a try. “Why are you here?” “What do you do?” “What’s your position on ‘Who is a Jew?’” “Do you like your family?” “Have you been to the kotel?” “Should we get a room later at a local hotel?” Besieged by the questions, she ran into the night and sought sweet, cold refuge in Tasti-D-Lite. On Sunday, she met her friend Sue at Makor to see what that center for Jews had in store. They had some Merlot in the basement cafe and met two great guys — both turned out to be gay. Monday brought time at the new JCC, The building a-gleaming, the hip place to be. She went to a program that got her bells ringing: a screening of “Grease,” with lyrics for singing! She arrived at the place with vocal cords poised, But of the assembled, there were only two boys. She went out to Fairway on alternate Tuesdays, walking past kiosks of Time Outs and Newsdays. Buying produce for dinners and cooking for one was more cost-effective, but not too much fun. She also checked out the nearby Zabar’s scene, with its pickles and olives, and babkas by Green’s, She swore to herself: if she found no takers, by this time next year, she’d own a breadmaker. Wednesday, at Xando, she scarfed down some s’mores and ducked former JDates because they were bores. She went out to dances and lectures and stuff and found, with each day, it was getting more tough. Why was it so hard? She could not understand — it wasn’t world peace — she just wanted a man! Familiar with Hebrew and maybe some Yiddish he’d know that the motzi’s preceded by kiddush. This Jew would be close both in spirit and miles, and would be of good humor, with generous smiles. Should she, like Madonna, go kabbalistic? No, she decided, once again realistic. But where else to go? What else to do? She sometimes wished she just wasn't a Jew. Then she’d date any man she found attractive without worries of parents gone hyper-reactive. 'Is he observant? Is he Reform? Is he agnostic? Are we getting warm?' They hadn’t been right, not then and not ever — She began to believe she’d be lonely forever. Then, one Thursday night, after great Kung Pao Chicken, she opened a fortune cookie, and felt her pulse quicken. It read: “Don’t stay home, alone in your cloister: the City is yours: one big kosherized oyster.” Pondering this, she sipped tea with a sigh and decided to give the old scene a new try. She knows that she’ll know when the chemistry’s right — Until then, she’ll always have Tasti-D-Lite. She’ll use all her assets: her wit and her smarts will help to attract the most caring of hearts. Her future is bright, full of roads not yet tried, and she’s forging ahead, ’cause her world’s open wide.

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