Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Isn't It Ironic? Don't You Think? Or Is It?

Rain on your wedding day is not ironic. It's unfortunate. But hey, at least you're getting married. Having ten thousand spoons--when all you need is a knife--is annoying. (Who ever wants ten thousand spoons? I mean, really.) Win the lottery, and die the next day? That just sucks. Tragic, yes--ironic? Not so much. I've never been good at providing a one-sentence definition for irony (admittedly, Alannis is even worse at it). I always have to look it up. Still, it strikes me today that the initial post on loneliness I did a few weeks ago was inspired by someone who asked me about its nature and then proceeded to drift away. He hasn't been in touch in a while, leaving me lonely. And I can't decide if that's irony or tragedy. Or maybe it's just symbolically appropriate--as if by initiating the discussion, he primed me for the loneliness that followed.

11 comments:

LifeDeluxe said...

It's irony not tragic. He left you alone but not lonely after all.

p.s. ever heard the expression "emotional vampire"? It refers to people who invade our emotions and time to fulfill their self satisfying needs. He sounds like one.

Anonymous said...

Hope you're not too bummed out. I'm sure you'll find a nice guy soon.

Irony is kind of like pornography: it's hard to define, but you know it when you see it.

3 examples I like:

1. The star of this week's Torah portion is named Noach, which means "rest, at ease". Yet he works harder than is humanly possible (builds the boat and stocks it in a week).

2. In Parshat VaYeshev, Joseph's brothers say "We will see what will become of his dreams". His dreams come true.

3. In the opera Don Giovanni, as the Don is about to run through the old commendatore with his sword,he says "Miscreant! You chose to die", probably not realizing he is referring to sealing his own doom.

marty said...

I use the irony on the laundery.

Tell me you're not into reggae.

Caribbean Marty

Needsabetterjob said...

Lonliness sucks. I couldn't handle Manhattan like that after about a year. This good friend of mine, a woman who I should have become serious w. but I was at that time, unable to do so, suggested that I should consider going elsewhere. It was the best advice I ever got. Everything opened up for me once I left NYC. Relationships came, and not that many years later I met my wife.

One thing that is interesting is that sometimes one feel lonely in a marriage also, but this can be worked on because you know that you have something very solid. Usually, u can just look at the bright side.

Of course when you don't have this, it can be harder, but I feel that the same process applies.

Anonymous said...

Irony has to include the element of something being the opposite of what you expect.

For example, rain on your wedding day is NOT ironic. But if you spent days going through almanacs, and chose to get married in Pheonix, Arizona on a day that historically has never had rain there, just so that it wouldn't rain on your wedding day, and then it does . . . THAT is ironic!

Having 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife would be ironic if you were sitting in the middle of a knife factory.

Sarah said...

That last comment about irony was from me, Chayyei Sarah

Esther Kustanowitz said...

Lifedeluxe: Sometimes lonely and alone feel the same. And I truly believe (and this is my disorder, I acknowledge) that if he's an emotional vampire, he doesn't intend to be.

Anon, thanks. But I've heard that one too many times before. And I guess regarding your three examples, I have to say we'll see what happens to my dreams--if I'm ever at rest enough to have any. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an ark to build.

Marty? What can I say. Not so into the reggae (mon).

Job: Not so convinced that a new location is the answer. Again, staying here may not be the answer, either. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Chayyei Sarah: It's almost your parsha. And as usual, you're right on.

Needsabetterjob said...

These things help. Reggae helps, good music. Personally, I get mucho alot out of listening to 60-70's Rock. I believe I draw stength from this period. Why this is good is that the messages then the general vibe was just about love, and this was before all of the technocrap. So this is a kind of space I want to operate from. It does not imply that I identify w/ anything beyond the simple vibe.

Needsabetterjob said...

These things help. Reggae helps, good music. Personally, I get mucho alot out of listening to 60-70's Rock. I believe I draw stength from this period. Why this is good is that the messages then the general vibe was just about love, and this was before all of the technocrap. So this is a kind of space I want to operate from. It does not imply that I identify w/ anything beyond the simple vibe.

Gatsby said...

It's ironic that Alanis has written a song about irony in which none of the things she mentions are actually ironic.
She's either quite brilliant or a complete air head. I'll leave that for the readers to decide.
I hope the lonliness is temporary.

online dating service said...

Yeah, I do agree. Loneliness is temporary.