Sunday, September 19, 2004


You've heard me talk about Marry Blaire (who's apparently going to be on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 on Monday 9/20 at 7 pm). Thanks to Petitchou, I've also found Marry Theresa, whose site appears to predate Blaire's by several years. I wish these ladies loads of luck. But every time I see their sites, I'm reminded of how "not me" they are. I'm even having intellectual problems with the online dating modality--I'm certainly not opening myself up to random proposals from men across the United States. I guess that, to a certain extent, my writing on this site and My Urban Kvetch does make me vulnerable to criticism and proposals of both the wanted and unwanted variety. Maybe I'm more comfortable opening up my inner world of writing and thought as opposed to my outer world of photographs and lists of "romantic must-haves." Although I don't think online dating has a stigma in the sense that it used to have, I still think that the JDate format, where someone sees my profile and makes a snap judgement about my dateability based on photo (hopefully also taking into account a few of the words I've penned about myself, as well), is not my ideal. I'm on JDate (even if I'm an unpaid member right now), but I still want to meet someone in the "normal" ways, through friends, in the humor section at Barnes and Noble, at parties, at synagogue services. I want the chemistry between us to be palpably physical, but also deeper and more emotional. I'm still looking for that undefinable something, as opposed to the checklist of options that help JDaters narrow down their search. But that's just me.


annabel lee said...

Yes, exactly. Ditto everything you wrote.

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of differences between you and Blaire's attempts to get married. In Blaire's most recent "update" (what she calls the blog on her website), she offers to date ANY guy who is Jewish and no older than 34. Since she has the goal to be engaged by December 4th, she has eliminated all of her other criteria for screening potential dates. I doubt that you, Esther, would give up some important qualities such as intellectual stimulation and some degree of committment to Judaism. Blaire has, and it's a sorry sight. But alas, it makes for good television.

Anonymous said...

On one hand I feel sorry for her. She's so obviously anxious to find a boyfriend. But on the other hand I get frustrated reading her "updates" because she never seems to change. I read her diary with interest at first, admiring her gumption but then found myself growing more and more irritated at the things she'd say and do. She was epitomizing the classic "psycho girl" that guys joke about. The obsessive, needy, self absorbed young woman who wants a boyfriend for security.

She gets too caught up in guys too quickly and requires way too much attention from them. It's a little weird to hear her go on and on about a guy she just went out with this past weekend like they've been dating for months.

Upon first glance I thought she was witty and brave. Now she just seems sad and a little psychotic.

My friend forwarded me one of her e-mails, I read her blog and then googled her. If I can google her, a guy can google her. I can't imagine that her updates help her find a man.