Tuesday, August 10, 2004


That is the question. It's been a little over a month since my JDate membership ended. If you remember, when we last left Our Heroine, she was getting no messages, and was increasingly frustrated with certain men, who did actually initiate contact with her in the first place, and who yet failed to follow up with any kind of contact outside of the email world. Plus, there was the whole issue of JDate's search engine finding forbidden words in my profile and removing them, rendering my profile an exercise in code-breaking idiocy. The day after my membership expired, I got two messages. By now, it's up to 8 messages, from men who apparently were sufficiently interested to read the first part of my profile, where I entice them with a witty and well-written profile, but who failed to read the part that says I'm not a member anymore and that they'll have to IM me when I'm online or send me an email c/o this blog. So now I'm looking at the "Members Who've Viewed You" page, and there are actually a few guys who aren't in their 50s who have viewed me and perhaps emailed me. So do I rejoin, only to find out that the messages are from friends who just decided to say "nice profile" or from guys to whose emails I had already responded with a "no thanks"? Or save thirty bucks a month and maintain my carefully cultivated "JDate disillusion"? Both, truly tempting options...opinions, as always, are welcome here.


Passionate Life said...

Hi Esther,

I enjoy both your blogs in particular your appreciation for the angst of single life. It is quite a dilemma about online dating membership when it sort of puts you on the clock, like you are in a taxi with the meter running. With Jdate it should be self understood that when you contact someone you also put that person on your favorites to let them know that you contacted them. This way they can see who it was that contacted them and if they are worth $30 bucks to chat with. (Hmmm... Actually I would put in a restriction...In order to contact me you must write at least 1000 words. If you put in that much effort, I will gladly pay $30 bucks to read your missive to me. ;-)

Being that I am an online dating aficionado, I have two suggestions for ya.

1. Sign up on a number of different dating websites. Contrary to popular opinion, it is not the same people on all sites. I have met quite a varied lot at different sites. Even the sites that are not known as "Jewish" sites, you can specify Jewish only and your affiliation as well. Such as Eharmony.com, JewishMingle.com, etc. Some are free and others you can see who is contacting you to determine if they are membership worthy.

2. Since so many people read your blogs, why not put a link to your dating profile to give people who might be interested a clearer picture of what you are looking for. Personally, I enjoy reading inventive, creative, passionate profiles and I am curious what a spunky, worldly, wordsmith like you can come up with.

Good luck with your searching. Hopefully, "He" is around the corner and just $30 bucks away!

Passionate Life

Hilary said...

I had the same dilemma--I rejoined, only to find five "teases" from men who didn't even show up as having viewed my profile. And now it's $35 a month. What a waste of money.