Thursday, June 24, 2004


Huh? I feel the same way. Aryeh Pamensky, an Orthodox rabbi from Toronto, conducts a dating workshop in NYC next week. A friend told me that Pamensky is hilarious, but this article in the Jewish Week highlights his approach and not his humor (IMHO). He says that people who "date for fun" are developing skills that will not result in a long-lasting relationship, or that will destroy a relationship that results from a dating-for-fun scenario. I think "dating for marriage" is too much pressure. My feeling is that maybe one can "date for fun," then like them sufficiently that they find it worthwhile to spend the time working through relationship issues (intimacy, long-term compatibility, commitment etc) and end up dating that person for marriage. I wouldn't like to eliminate the fun, flat-out. That's been my major issue all along, that none of my recent dating experiences have been any fun. If Pamensky were universally righ, I might as well marry someone boring right now. But no one approach works for everyone. That much is clear. And Pamensky's addressing a very religious audience, so their concerns and approaches are somewhat different from those of more modern/secular daters. What do you think?

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