Sunday, July 04, 2004


"Matchmaker, matchmaker, match me a match... Find me a find, catch me a catch... Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book and find me the perfect match." (Or something like that. It's been a while since I saw Fiddler.) Heard anything about Saw You At Sinai, the (relatively) new matchmaking service? Here's an article from the Blueprint on the service. And I also found a few bloggers who have undergone "The SawYouAtSinai Experience": Rabbi Josh Yuter describes how matchmakers decided his bashert was his ex-girlfriend. Meredith's experience was totally different. She was set up with someone who was paralyzed from the neck down. Click here to read the letter of complaint she sent to the Saw You At Sinai administrators. We need to hope that somewhere people are having good experiences with the fledgling service, but so far, I've not found any. If you have had a good experience with, why not share your experience with the group? Post a comment here, or if you're shy, drop me a line. My Carrie Bradshaw moment on matchmaking: We're always asking matchmakers to look through their books and find us the perfect match. But what if our match isn't even in their book? What if matchmakers are checking out their books from the wrong library?


Josh said...

Realize that SawYouAtSinai is just a glorified shadchan service. The website does not set singles up directly, but strictly allows people to select their own middle-person. Any experiences one has will be dependant on the individual matchmaker(s) one selects and not the SawYouAtSinai itself.

Esther Kustanowitz said...

Thanks for the clarification, Josh.

Anonymous said...

More of a lurker than a poster here, but I've had my profile plastered on more Jewish dating sites than I can remember. I've been on saw you at sinai for the past 3 months or so, and I've gotten matched twice. The first time I "accepted" the match, but the person declined me (I was on the fence about declining, but I always try to give these things a shot), and the second time I accepted the match, and the match accepted me and was given my phone number, but never called. Not great experiences, but I agree with Josh above that it really depends on the particular shadchan. I don't know any of the shadchanim, so I just picked a few, and also, I don't live in NY, which seems to make me a more difficult person to match. Oh, and I refuse to play into the whole references game (i.e., if someone wants to go out with me, he should just meet me; any references I provide are obviously going to say good things about me.).

Esther Kustanowitz said...

Here's another comment which was emailed to me this weekend, reporting on a positive experience with SawYouAtSinai.

I'm seriously dating someone I met through SawYouAtSinai. The site is awesome and you guys should be choosing your matchmakers more wisely. I think it is WONDERFUL that married shadchanim are taking the time to suggest matches when so many people forget about their single friends. I picked a cool and happening matchmaker through SawU, who took the time to get to know me personally and was on target about everything (LOOKS, PERSONALITY, COOLness...) and we actually became friendly through this experience. We should have "Hakarat Hatov" and a general appreciation for the consideration of matchmakers and for taking the time to set us up. We're not all perfect human beings and we all make mistakes, but how many of us fall for the wrong type of person on our own? Think of that and stop knocking these wonderful and thoughtful people.

adam said...

My experience as a guy at SYAS was very very bad. I had 1 mutual approved match and 2 matches approved by the female and OUT OF THE BLUE I get this letter removing me off the site. I spent much time on the site both updating my profile and picture and giving honest reasons why I am declining and they suddenly just decide to remove me off the site without receiving any communication of any problem at any point. I even wrote to support a few times in the past and never got any response about anything while I was on the site.
This is the letter I received.

Hi Adam
This is Rebecca, I work with the matchmakers. You recently
declined a match on the site, and in declining insulted the
matchmaker saying "I also really don't know if you are a matchmaker
or interviewing for a job reading your profile. It seems the latter
to me." Our matchmakers are all volunteers who do their best to
help singles connect. Based on this response as well as multiple
previous decline messages, the matchmakers feel they can't
help you find what you're looking for. We will not be renewing your
membership, but as your current month's membership expires
today we will not be issuing you a refund.

Most of this is not even true. The comment that I made to the matchmaker is true but that in itself doesn’t seem to warrant being removed as Rebecca goes on and says “Based on this response and other responses the matchmakers feel they can’t help you”. I guess Rebecca spoke to all 300 matchmakers because at the time I was removed I was receiving matches from a number of matchmakers and they were approved by the females. Some matchmakers I liked some I wasn’t crazy about. Isn’t this why there are different matchmakers some young some old and many with different experiences. Rebecca booted me because her opinion of me and a few matchmakers opinion of me wasn't high although other matchmakers seemed to be honestly trying to help me but it didn't matter to Rebecca. I also don't understand how Rebecca is even qualified to make this decision of she is not even married. If you are a guy I would be very hesitant to join as they will just suddenly discontinue you after puting in a lot of work and give you a wishy washy reason as to why.