tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post114719455220908252..comments2023-09-22T14:04:12.224-04:00Comments on JDaters Anonymous has moved to JDatersAnonymous.com: A Question from a JDA Reader: About MatchmakingEsther Kustanowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1149627282404546702006-06-06T16:54:00.000-04:002006-06-06T16:54:00.000-04:00our shadchan wasn't a pro. He was just a guy who d...our shadchan wasn't a pro. He was just a guy who dated me once and then introduced me to his best friend. My husband and I debated it for a while, and we decided to take him on our honeymoon....yes, really.<BR/><BR/>well... okay, it's not exactly like that. My husband and my shadchan are both jugglers, and our honeymoon is going to be at an international juggling convention. We decided to pay for his flight so he can come too. <BR/><BR/>I think that this is the single most important thing you get in your life. Figure 5-10% of the cost of the wedding is reasonable. <BR/><BR/>Come on, you think your spouse is worth less than the bar or the flowers?Leah Goodmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16546935038863589318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147301613245178022006-05-10T18:53:00.000-04:002006-05-10T18:53:00.000-04:00Got to disagree with the last email re giving the ...Got to disagree with the last email re giving the frum shadchans a gift certificate and thank you. It is their job. They deserve to be paid. There's a story in frum circles that a married couple was having trouble having a kid, after 9 years of marriage and trying. Their rabbi inquired, and it turned out they hadn't paid the shadchan from 9 years earlier. So they paid the shadchan and later had a kid. Don't know if there was a correlation, but hey, they did the right thing by paying.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147294970243371392006-05-10T17:02:00.000-04:002006-05-10T17:02:00.000-04:00Going rate for a shadchan is about $1,000 for a ma...Going rate for a shadchan is about $1,000 for a match. The shadchans are not making huge bucks. Alot of them do it as chesed. As for the comment that "No one in this town is getting married" -- go to onlysimchas.com . Yeah, tons of unaffiliated, reform and conservative Jews are not getting married. It's a major major crisis. But go to onlysimchas.com and you will see tons of Jews getting married, having kids, etc. Most of them are orthodox. Gives one pause to wonder what's going on in reform and conservative judaism. The values and priorities are all screwed up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147292610571819012006-05-10T16:23:00.000-04:002006-05-10T16:23:00.000-04:00Wow. This concept never occurred to me. Then aga...Wow. This concept never occurred to me. Then again, SYAS kept trying to match me up with guys from New York or Chicago, never in LA.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147279692590046592006-05-10T12:48:00.000-04:002006-05-10T12:48:00.000-04:00And 20K a year is plenty excessive sounding to me,...And 20K a year is plenty excessive sounding to me, perhaps we have them confused with a mistress?<BR/> ------------<BR/>Interesting point. Perhaps if the shadchan is the lover of a parent of one of the matchees, only then does he or she command 20 grand? <BR/><BR/>A quick Googling turned up "$500 from each party". Total of a grand. Like 3 years of JDate. You tell me which is the better bargain.<BR/><BR/>Maybe if you're really happy with your match, every year you send the shadchan a little thank you present? And if the spouse they set you up with turns out to be a lemon, you send them something else?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147240771197847942006-05-10T01:59:00.000-04:002006-05-10T01:59:00.000-04:00But folks are not looking for a 'social network' v...But folks are not looking for a 'social network' via Jdate, but a bashert! I can get involved in a 'social network' almost anywhere, political party functions, meet ups, film clubs, chess players, 'dog fanciers' etc...<BR/><BR/>20K sounds a bit excessive to me though for a shadchan/match maker. I can't tell you how long it was before I bought a car that cost that much! <BR/><BR/>I really think only children are due 10% of your income over any span of years, Chutzpah. That or extortionists. Perhaps your Temple, which also begs the central question on 'networking'. And 20K a year is plenty excessive sounding to me, perhaps we have them confused with a mistress? (I know, one estimate I saw of one of these high dollar luxuries ran into the low-mid 6 figures for upkeep in cities like NYC). What can I say? Fundamentally I'm a cheap date, and I appreciate this in others too. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147229213956596052006-05-09T22:46:00.000-04:002006-05-09T22:46:00.000-04:00Thanks, last Anonymous--believe me, I'm already on...Thanks, last Anonymous--believe me, I'm already on the story.Esther Kustanowitzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17598539253079410648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147228961785703522006-05-09T22:42:00.000-04:002006-05-09T22:42:00.000-04:00This is completely off topic but I just wanted to ...This is completely off topic but I just wanted to let you know that Jdate has somehow <A HREF="http://www.webbyawards.com/webbys/current.php?season=10#webby_entry_social" REL="nofollow">won</A> the "Best social networking" site WebbyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147222367076933992006-05-09T20:52:00.000-04:002006-05-09T20:52:00.000-04:00I read about one shadchan who recieved a Mercedes ...I read about one shadchan who recieved a Mercedes Benz from a happy couple. That seems a bit much. <BR/><BR/>I think if the Shadchan spent the time with you and your beshert that you both would be able to deduce what the Shadchan would like. If not I'd say a gift certificate or gift visa card is always well recieved...well atleast I would like that. :)Rohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13029181785035304217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147220691321809972006-05-09T20:24:00.000-04:002006-05-09T20:24:00.000-04:00I don't know, but I have heard of one matchmaker ...I don't know, but I have heard of one matchmaker that gets about 15K-20K per person per year (until the client is "matched" of course). Seriously.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6858404.post-1147204453865453202006-05-09T15:54:00.000-04:002006-05-09T15:54:00.000-04:00It would help solve the problem if the shadchan re...It would help solve the problem if the shadchan registered at Macy's or Crate and Barrel.<BR/><BR/>:-7Lysshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17772991974064492182noreply@blogger.com